It’s Such a Beautiful Day (2012) – Do you know Don Hertzfeldt’s work? Here, I’ve done the search for you. Watch at least “Rejected” and the Simpsons couch gag he did last year. Those are the ones I know best, but the rest is still Don Hertzfeldt, so it must be fantastic.
Before you watch this, be ready to laugh (and watch out for trains), and be ready for a happy ending that is actually one of the saddest endings ever.
John Wick (2014) – Obviously this is a stupid movie, though I’m sure some people derive some kind of joy from it. There is no helping those people.
Motivations—especially those in the beginning that set off the events of the rest of it—make about as much sense as giving Keanu Reeves a decades-long film career.
I don’t know how I feel about the Russian mob referring to the protagonist as “Baba Yaga”; it may be the best part of the movie. But I know I’m definitely not fond of them translating that as “the Boogeyman”. Why would you reference a character as evocative as Baba Yaga and then say it’s basically just a faceless scary thing? Such a waste of some fine mythology.
The Thin Man (1934) – Nick and Nora Charles are my current heroes. They will remain as such until I get distracted. I own three more of their movies, though, so they may hold the title for a while yet.
Velvet Goldmine (1998) – I’m going to call this Citizen Bowie, okay? Is it weird to feel nostalgic for the nostalgia of the late ’90s which was all about the early ’70s? I wasn’t there in the early ’70s, but that time when everyone older than me was fondly remembering that time was nice.
Boys Don’t Cry (1999) – I had jokes all lined up for this, but then all of a sudden, the movie about a brutal rape and murder in early-’90s Nebraska got really heavy and dark, and it felt inappropriate to joke about it. But hey, did you know Hilary Swank was left-handed? Either she is, or Brandon was left-handed and Hilary Swank is just super method about these things.
The Trip to Italy (2014) – If Rob Brydon is even half as affable as he claims to be—and he claims to be much less affable than he appears to be—I still love him. Steve Coogan is unobjectionable. Altogether an agreeable diversion, but not nearly as strong as the original The Trip. If you only see one Brydon-Coogan road-trip movie, watch the other one.
Birdman (2014) – An amusing story wrapped in an ambitious and impressive technical experiment. Emma Stone will someday rule all of entertainment.
Django (1966) – All the misogyny and machismo you expect from a western from the ’60s, plus all the gorgeous people and gorgeous filmmaking all Italians are apparently genetically prone to making.
And the Oscar Goes To… (2014) – Such a pointless documentary, but it does show what the Academy really thinks about animation. As they go over the history of each category and what those people do, they come to animation. The narrator mentions that the Academy added a category for Best Animated Feature, then they cut to Chris Rock explaining how voice acting is the easiest thing he’s ever done, basically reminding us that they will never, ever take vocal performances seriously. They then move on to another category.
Spirited Away (千と千尋の神隠し, 2001) – Miyazaki is a treasure. Is he even capable of making a bad movie?