The Lion in Winter (1968) – Several times while watching this, I began to drift off to sleep. Perhaps it was the way I was laying, or perhaps it was the drawn-out pace of the story, but every time I was on the brink of not paying attention, the movie gave me something to wake up. Lines like “How dear of you to let me out of prison” and “Of course he’s got a knife! We’ve all got knives! It’s 1183 and we’re barbarians!” and little plot points like Anthony Hopkins being gay for the king of France.
The Prestige (2006) – I’d like to thank the costumers for managing to showcase David Bowie without showcasing his junk.
I shall have to make a point never to see The Illusionist. I’ll know that the difference is that I’ve seen The Prestige.
Academy Award-Nominees: Best Short Film, Live-Action
- The Saviour – If in Act I you have a pistol hanging on the wall, then it must fire in the last act. If your lead actor is missing a hand, it has nothing to do with the story and mustn’t be mentioned, no matter how distracting that is.
- Helmer & Søn (Helmer & Son) – I don’t know about you, but I think I’ve had my fill of filmmakers with daddy issues.
- Éramos Pocos – I should go get me an old woman to cook and clean for me just for the joy of living with me. Or is that what marriage is?
- Binta y la Gran Idea (Binta and the Great Idea) – The winner, yay!
- West Bank Story – There are only two absolutely unacceptable answers for the Oscars this year: Borat for Best Adapted Screenplay, and this one.
Academy Award-Nominees: Best Short Film, Animated
- No Time for Nuts – I am so done with that rat thing from Ice Age. On the upside, this short ends with the implication that the thing dies of starvation.
- The Danish Poet – Adorable, sweet. I pick this one to win. Also the only nominee with words.
- Maestro – Supercute. I almost wish I hadn’t caught onto the ending of this ahead of time. Still, supercute.
- The Little Matchgirl – Sure, it’s pretty, but this story has always bugged me. There’s no apparent moral or character development. It’s just sad for sadness’ sake.
- Lifted – Pixar’s entry, full of plenty of clever sight gags, as expected. Just not a winner. Speaking of not winners, the show we saw included:
Additional Qualifying and Shortlisted Films
- One Rat Short – Probably the best animation of the lot. A little wierd, though.
- The Passenger – Eh.
- The Wraith of Cobble Hill – The very epitome of student film, and I mean that in a bad way.
- Guide Dog – If this one made the cut for the presentation of “Additional qualifying” films, I’ve got to wonder what qualified but was not good enough to show audiences.
- Gentlemen’s Duel – Though I loved the period Gundam suits, I counted four kicks in the groin, one ejaculation joke, countless jiggling boobs, a dog peeing on everything, and a nude butler.
How to Steal a Million (1966) – One of them is a great actor. The other is just really cute. Can you guess which is which?
The Sting (1973) – Five minutes into this movie, I came to hate Scott Joplin. Halfway into the movie, I came to hate ragtime music. Now, I hate pianos.