6 thoughts on “Lent: Part 34

  1. volus

    My Two Cents, Year 4: Part 34

    You know that kid who spends all his time at the Junior High practicing his jump kicks? The kid with his comic notebook, always sketching out “badass” stuff? The kid for whom the word “kewl” was invented?

    That kid directed this movie. And his name (surprise, surprise!) is Kaos.

    What I’m trying to say is, he’s Michael Bay, but without the talent or subtlety.

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  2. shinichiki

    Details on what you thought of the movie? Having played the game on the GBA I can’t even imagine how a movie was proposed using that IP. I mean.. jesus christ that game 🙁 I like horrible movies more than I should but I have limits.

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    1. MacCrocodile Post author

      Darien put it more perfectly than I could. When he told me what he planned to write, I considered the possibility of just ripping him off outright. Every element of that movie is there because the director thought it was badass. There is no thought given to plot or dialogue–though the writer takes a fair bit of that blame–just whether the thing you’re seeing is badass enough.

      Yes, we could flip a car over his head, but why not two cars?

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      1. volus

        The writer deserves an incredible amount of blame. As I said, I’ve seen a few of the other films he’s written, and he is a bad writer. Sorry, he’s not just italics bad, he’s italics, bold and underlined bad.

        There were parts that could have actually been pretty cool with a little more budget and a slightly more delicate hand on the wheel…cool in a Baysplosion sense, of course.

        On the other hand, there’s scenes like Antonio Banderas hunched over in the mixture of real and superimposed rain, cross-cutting to the exploding car. Those ones only looked awesome in a very particular kind of person’s head, and were completely lol-inducing on the screen. I can only assume that the grimace on Banderas’ face was not acting, but a reaction to the director screaming “Hunch harder!” in his ear.

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  3. shinichiki

    Ok, wow. I just… two cars? That is so extreme, I wouldn’t be surprised to hear about the Mountain Dew placements all over the movie during a snowboarding section while ninja kicking badguys. Dammit now I sorta DO wanna watch it…

    Reply
    1. volus

      Nope, no Mountain Dew money was involved in the production. If “Kaos” has been willing to sell out his vision a little bit, he might have been able to blow up Civics instead of Daewoos.

      Reply

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