Jesus Christ Superstar (1973) – Woah.
So some untold weeks ago, no one came to watch the Oscars, so I decided to tell even more people about this event in hopes that someone would show up. I told the people at work who had felt slighted for not being invited to the Oscars. A couple of days later, Megan told me that her brother and his girlfriend were coming and that the girlfriend would be dressed as Mary Magdalene. At that instant, it became a party. It escalated from there, and it even got to the point where I had to turn people away.
Turning people away is a completely new experience to me.
All told, we had thirteen people in our living room, and if you don’t know, our living room is not made for thirteen people. To be honest, I don’t know if the amount of the movie I actually saw can be counted.
Grindhouse (2007) – Did you ever go to pick up a quarter on the ground? You can see that it’s the next state you need–Nevada or something–and it looks awesome. But when you pick it up and look at the other side, it’s all grimy and blackened with God knows what. You don’t want to actually touch it or have it in your pocket, but you love the Nevada design on one side, and it’s still technically worth twenty-five cents. But the bland face of George Washington spends half an hour yammering about film history and movies he liked growing up.
Seriously, though, Rodriguez delivers gold. I cannot find fault with Planet Terror. Tarantino completely missed the mark however. Either he didn’t quite understand what kind of movie he’d agreed to make, or he just didn’t feel like making it. It was, essentially, a short version of every Tarantino movie you’ve ever seen, but with slightly less awesome fight scenes.
The Great Train Robbery (1903) – Given that he was the first man to ever do that stunt on film, I gotta congratulate the guy who got hit over the head and fell on the ground on his fantastic acting. I do wonder about the completely silent song and dance number though.
Jackie suggested that they actually killed the guy for that stunt, and considering what a total dick Thomas Edison was, I wouldn’t be surprised.
Tonari no Totoro (My Neighbor Totoro) (1988) – Jackie was once upon a time a little anime girl. The voice actors in this movie have giggling like retards down to an art.
Now may I go another year without watching anime? Please?
Wall Street (1987) – A Sheen and a half, a Douglas and John C. McGinley can’t make up for the downward pull of Daryl Hannah on film.
The Towering Inferno (1974) – It’s almost like this building was designed to burn in the most catastrophic way. Explosions even waited politely for people to be passing by before they’d detonate. Overall, fuck this movie.
Traffic (2000) – Listen, Mr. Soderbergh–may I call you Stephen? Good, Stephen–have a seat, Stephen. I know we haven’t discussed this, but you should know. The thing is… fuck blue filters. I’ll forgive this time because you didn’t know, and you made an excellent movie despite the filters, but don’t let it happen again.
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969) – So this movie starts out in sepia, then it gets color but becomes even more dull. For about an hour, it’s oppressively boring. Then they arrive in Bolivia, and it becomes a pretty good movie. Then it ends with a pretty lame sepia-toned cliche.
The music sucked.
Bring It On (2000) – I love a movie that can do full-on silly, but I also love a movie that I can watch with all the profanity, including “ass” “bitch” and “hell”. I guess I shouldn’t Tivo things on ABC Family anymore.
Tell Your Children (Reefer Madness) (1936) – Uh… what? This thing really needs some musical numbers.